Dear Straight Guys ,Don’t Ask What Kind of Girl Do I Like Again

Today is a rainy day, just like how I felt after being asked “What kind of girl do you like” at lunch with a colleague. My co-workers are undoubtedly 100% straight, and they also assume I am straight. No one would have thought that I was actually a single bisexual man until today when they saw that I wrote a story about bisexuality. So I came out to my colleagues.


This happened and they started looking at me with a look of disgust that I hated and asked the question out of curiosity. It's a nasty feeling I've encountered before, when people knew I was bi, they always looked at me like that and asked me weird questions in that curious tone. “Are you really bisexual?” “Do you only like single bisexual girls?” “Are you attracted to men or women right now?” Their endless questions are driving me crazy. Damn question! The fucking answer! Every time I wish there was a hole in the ground that I could hide in. Is there a hole here? No, so I just looked at them coldly, and it worked. No one could look into my eyes and say a word within 2 minutes.


The strange thing is that people's concerns are always surprisingly similar. For example, men always want to know what kind of women I like, and women always want to know what kind of men I like. As a single bisexual person, I know I can't take on the world based solely on my dissatisfaction. All I can do is explain it as plainly as possible afterwards: Whether it’s a man or a woman, there is no difference between my aesthetics and theirs. Of course, in order not to explain one by one, and to avoid seeing those uncomfortable looks, I edited the text message and used the group function.

If you meet them on the straight, you don’t need to explain too much, and don’t change their experiences and concerns easily. They will never take your side, and if they do, it is in the hope that you will use your gender and sexual orientation to help them hook up. Unless I know you (who I think is the real you), I won't talk to you stranger about women. I can do it with my family, my best friends, my partner because I actually know them.
So dear Qizhi, don’t talk to me about women. All you have is my sharp eyes.

Comments

  1. I wish I knew you. Your articles are educational and very insightful. I don’t know that I’m fully bi, but I do swing that way sexually. If it feels good, do it is how I think. It would be nice to learn from you as I’m not really out about it since it’s mostly easy to hide, sex is usually in private and I don’t just let everyone know because of judge mental people. Anyhow, thank you for writing your articles.

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    1. I hope what I said is helpful to you, thank you.

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